I have since been informed that petty apartheid covered the more ‘minor’ aspects of apartheid, such as the Immorality Act and those laws that restricted access by black people to ‘whites only’ beaches, parks etc.

While I was growing up, I never knew anything about apartheid, my first knowledge only came, really, when I was around 19 and my friend went to Rhodes and became a political activist. But this only impinged on the periphery of my life and I thought she was doing it to be different, or to make some kind of statement, and as she was there and I was still in our suburb, what she got up to, thought, believed or did had even less impact as time went on.

Of course I knew that black people were not allowed on beaches or in parks, but that, to me, was just normal life. I never noticed anything inconvenient, wrong, untoward or in any way questionable about the laws that were in place at the time. I merely presumed that was how it was. Actually I never even thought about the laws as being laws, if you know what I mean. I never thought about politics, or legislation or any of that kind of thing.

My parents never discussed the politics of our country, they never discussed who they voted for, and I assume it was the Nats but I do not really know. We were an a-political family, through and through.

Black people were treated kindly in our house but we were taught by our mother that they were not as clean as we were; therefore they had to be given different cups to drink from and plates to eat off. All this, to me, was perfectly normal.

I never questioned why black people were not allowed to live in our suburbs. I never knew they were not allowed to live in our suburbs to be perfectly honest. I just assumed they stayed where they wanted to stay.

When I went to a private school we had black people in our class (only two at that time, in 1981) and again I never asked myself why they had not been in our government schools, presuming that as Afrikaners went to Afrikaans schools, so blacks must go to black schools.

This was the way life was.

I remember saying some of this on a forum I belonged to some years back and having a huge fight with a black woman who said there was no way I could ever have been unaware of what was going on in our country; but of course there was a way, we all grow up with our own version of reality and this was mine.

I never asked myself whether black people were badly treated, whether black people in other countries were allowed to own homes in white suburbs, walk, sit and holiday where white people did. Where you do not see a problem, you also do not envisage any solutions or raise any questions.

I am not weighed down with any guilt about all this today, either. I am in no way responsible for the choices and decisions of my government or my parents.