A Painless Past, A Confusing Present
My earliest memories of political happenings are filled with abject terror. “The Communists are coming!” the adults screamed. Who these Communists were, and why exactly we needed to fear them was a mystery to me. But I was terrified nonetheless. I remember a couple of friends and I built a shack in a nearby forest and hoarding bread crusts, biltong and peanuts for weeks. We eventually grew bored of waiting for the Communists, and scoffed our provisions.
Sixteen years and a bit of education later, those years seem so preposterous. The feared Communists, for whom we waited in vain, were the African National Congress. They were making door-to-door visits in our area, which was an IFP bastion, and so in an effort to secure our votes, the IFP ran a very successful propaganda campaign against the ANC. So successful was their propaganda, that they have never lost the majority vote in that part of KZN.
I have never experienced apartheid in any form. I don’t even know what a dompas looks like. I grew up in a world where the ANC was the enemy, for crying out loud! I grew up amongst white people. Some of my best and most loyal of friends are white. I never ever got the feeling that I was supposed to be inferior to anyone. And even in school, when the other black kids used to mumble about ‘discrimination’, I had no idea what they were on about. I have an academic knowledge of what racism is, but I’ve never emotionally identified with the notion. I’m a black South African, but certainly not “formerly disadvantaged.”
This presents me with a dilemma. A few weeks ago, a white friend of mine called me ‘boy’ on my blog. I took it as a joke, made a snappy comeback and thought no more of it. Apparently the word ‘boy’ is laden with racial connotations, and another blogger rose to my defence and viciously attacked my friend for daring to insult me. I was flabbergasted. In the ensuing debate some bloggers lambasted me for refusing to take offence at this obvious racial slur. But the plain truth is that I certainly didn’t feel like an affront had been committed, chiefly because I knew my friend wouldn’t do such a thing. But I also didn’t feel racially slighted because I didn’t grow up under apartheid, have never been told that I am less than anyone else because of my skin colour and have never been discriminated against for being black. I have no experience of apartheid, petty or otherwise.
Apparently this is very difficult for older black people to understand. They don’t understand why I don’t read into every word that comes out of a white person, they don’t understand why I see nothing wrong with relationships across “colour lines” and they especially don’t understand why I think they are wrong for being so suspicious and sensitive. Don’t get me wrong. I’m in no way diminishing people who went through the horrors of apartheid. I am very proud to be a black South African, partly because of our struggle heritage. And I’m not saying that racism is now completely dead in South Africa. But I certainly don’t accept that I should now carry the pain of an apartheid past simply because of my skin colour. It is very painful for me when I experience “discrimination” from my own people, because I’m too young to have gone through apartheid.
Isn’t this what the struggle was all about? Isn’t that why Nelson Mandela spent all those years in prison, so that one day there can be people in South Africa who have no painful memories of apartheid?
Charlie – I wish every South African, across the colour spectrum, could feel like you do.
Wow what a moving piece. I’m so grateful you shared this with us. I feel you are the beacon of hope that many of us cling to. A day where all South Africans regardless of colour can stand together and be counted as one. No pain, no discriminiation just unity. Apartheid was an atrocious act but let us not let it dictate South African for years to come. It is a part of our history but it’s not our only history.
Fantastic article Charlie! You have inspired me with hope for the future. And you’re spot on about this being what Nelson Mandela (and so many others) struggled to achieve. I hope he reads this article…:)
poor Charlie having to be a beacon of hope we can cling to
Charlie as ever you write with clarity, reason and logic, and I admire that in you, as ever!
nice one
(where was this barney on which of your blogs? I missed the whole thing. To think you should have been lambasted for NOT taking offense is so hectic if one does not laugh one will cry!!)
tough job but someone has to do it
@colleen
LOL! Colleen, you instigator!
Most of the poo-throwing happened on Mos Native’s blog (Letterdash).
Good Charlie´s last blog ..Dear Comrade Lindiwe Sisulu…
You snatched the comeback right out of my mouth!
Good Charlie´s last blog ..Dear Comrade Lindiwe Sisulu…
haha you two
*clings to Charlie*
I always wanted an excuse to do this even tho the oke is young enuff to be my son!
!!!
Great piece, Charlie.
Thank you for standing up, and speaking for millions of South Africans – this is indeed what the fight was for. Freedom is a state of mind, and Charlie, you’re free.
What an excellent well written piece!
It would seem time does heal all wounds. The people who carried a deep hatred for the English, my Afrikaner forefathers, are dead, and now I cannot find any grain of resent in me towards that nation. Turns out history repeats itself too. I’m sure we’re bound to go down that path w.r.t aparheid. But the older folk, they don’t often let go of the resentment. Usually because they have a very good reason not to.
vicious attack… been talking to Brandon Huntley?
You confessed ignorance to the racial connotations of the word “boy” which is all fair.
Noone faulted you for your ignorance. Your “friend”, however, knew full well and even mocked at, the derogatory connotation.
While you may not feel it is worth noting, there are other people who do (read me) and as long as a blog is in the public domain, and I have the privilege of airing my opinion, I will do so.
p.s.
There is no pride in ignorance. Knowing your history does not mean you have to live it. It allows you to understand the present and hence shape the future with wisdom.
Mos_Native´s last blog ..Almost white Never black…
I respectfully disagree. I consider myself knowledgeable of our tragic history. It’s not that I ‘don’t know’. It’s that I don’t choose to live by someone else’s negative experiences. And it saddens me that older Africans somehow don’t like that fact. Yes, our past ought to educate us – but in what way? Should the Catholic Irish continue to hate the Protestant Irish, years after that conflict ended? After all, it’s their history. Should the Hutus continue to hold a grudge against the Tutsis? It’s their history, isn’t it? Hell, should the French and the British not like each other? It’s their past…
History SHOULD inform the present, but only to a certain extent. There are some things we need to let go of.
Good Charlie´s last blog ..Dear Comrade Lindiwe Sisulu…
I do not remember anyone on that post, even the ‘older Africans’, neither did I, even mildy suggest that you should hate white people or bear a grudge or anything of the sort; please refer me to any section or comment that even vaguely implied that.
Failing that, please refrain from putting words in my mouth and using inappropriate analogies to get your point across.
That person KNOWINGLY threw a derogatory jibe at you. It is your business if you decide to ignore it. It is my business if someone knowingly throws racially derogatory statements at anyone on a public forum.
On behalf of the ‘ older Africans’ on that post, I will admit to have been taken aback that even after gaining knowledge that someone had just called you a ‘boy’, intentionally in the same manner that a grown black man was called a ‘boy’ by his white baas half his age, that you defended that person. While the term is historical, the racial insult was very much in the present.
If I follow your logic in this whole matter, and in the spirit of letting go, you would be fine with some white person calling you a k****r because that is all in history (so we think) and you were not there to be referred to as that in the apartheid days?
Mos_Native´s last blog ..Almost white Never black…
How can you say that person knowingly threw a racial slur at Good Charlie? Are you inside his friend’s psyche that you know every part of his being so intimately?
@Mos_Native
Look, not everything in my article refers directly to you. Our situation happened to be a handy example. So really, perhaps I should clarify by saying that not everything that I said applies to you.
Since this is really a discussion of viewpoints and experiences, there can be no wrong or right. personally, i feel that no wrong was done, even after several people told me that it’s “wrong” for an older white woman to refer to me as ‘boy’. I remain unconvinced that it was a racial jab… in fact, i found it rather ironic. she did she, i believe.
perhaps we won’t ever see eye-to-eye on this particular point. i just hope that my viewpoint will be granted equal credence to everyone else’s.
Good Charlie´s last blog ..Dear Comrade Lindiwe Sisulu…
@Carla Nunes
Firstly, the friend is female.
Secondly, no Im not psychic but I did not need to be in this case. All I needed was a pair of eyes and reading ability because she made mention of the derogatory use of the word boy in her comment.
Maybe you should read the post in question before asking silly questions?
Mos_Native´s last blog ..Almost white Never black…
@Good Charlie
Fair enough.
BTW, I do respect your perspective on this issue, as I did then. My debate with you on this is not to turn you over to my take on the issue.
While there are some intolerant older people (and younger), your youth has no bearing on my perception of your viewpoint.
When I challenge your ideas, it is not to convert you, it is to allow you to interrogate the validity of your ideas – well that is the intention…
Mos_Native´s last blog ..Almost white Never black…
How does her being female have to do with anything?
or rather What…
can you point us to the blog where Charlie was called boy please?
Yes please, it’d be interesting to read I think
Quite a nice piece either way Charlie – you have a great way of writing. I don’t believe you should feel anger on for yourself (perhaps for others) on a topic that didn’t truly influence you. It’s a great step towards letting things go and ending a horrible cycle.
Rob´s last blog ..Enough with the camera shake.
I read this story on News24: http://www.news24.com/Content/SouthAfrica/News/1059/7a20ae20ee814b7d87b43c2ed2126f06/22-09-2009-09-03/Boy_stabbed_over_racist_hello and was immediately reminded of this post of Charlie’s.
I wonder how anyone could think that this sort of reaction to a (perceived) racist slight is acceptable? They were not even involved in the (perceived) racist event, but overheard it and decided that it was ok to stick their noses (amongst other things) in.
Should a couple of white boys have gone after the black boy for calling the white boy ‘boertjie’ as well?
Where I work we often joke about our races and cultures. Our team consists of 1 afrikaner white male, 1 Portuguese male, 1 gay english male and 1 straight english male and myself (coloured female). I say things like “Is it cause I am coloured?” and “Eish your Porra’s” and they make jokes back along the same lines, joking about coloured people and their cars, poking fun at each other’s accents, etc.
We do not have a black person in our team, but I wonder – would we be able to poke fun at each other in the same way if there was a black person among us? Would he/she feel that we are being racist or join us in our jokes?
@Diva
That story really made me furious! What business did that “third party” have in getting involved?
It was none of his business. I fear that we will see more, not less of racist vigilantism in the future…
Good Charlie´s last blog ..With Regards to the Judicious Application of the Race Card
A great article Charlie. I really appreciate the pragmatic manner in which you look at things. A truly rare talent that you wield deftly and with consumate skill. Very nice.