Petty Apartheid – Oxymoron?
The first time I heard the term ‘petty apartheid’ in my 42 years of life was when Alex gave us the topic for September. My first thought, on hearing it, was that it sounds like an oxymoron; my second thought was to wonder what the hell it was.
I have since been informed that petty apartheid covered the more ‘minor’ aspects of apartheid, such as the Immorality Act and those laws that restricted access by black people to ‘whites only’ beaches, parks etc.
While I was growing up, I never knew anything about apartheid, my first knowledge only came, really, when I was around 19 and my friend went to Rhodes and became a political activist. But this only impinged on the periphery of my life and I thought she was doing it to be different, or to make some kind of statement, and as she was there and I was still in our suburb, what she got up to, thought, believed or did had even less impact as time went on.
Of course I knew that black people were not allowed on beaches or in parks, but that, to me, was just normal life. I never noticed anything inconvenient, wrong, untoward or in any way questionable about the laws that were in place at the time. I merely presumed that was how it was. Actually I never even thought about the laws as being laws, if you know what I mean. I never thought about politics, or legislation or any of that kind of thing.
My parents never discussed the politics of our country, they never discussed who they voted for, and I assume it was the Nats but I do not really know. We were an a-political family, through and through.
Black people were treated kindly in our house but we were taught by our mother that they were not as clean as we were; therefore they had to be given different cups to drink from and plates to eat off. All this, to me, was perfectly normal.
I never questioned why black people were not allowed to live in our suburbs. I never knew they were not allowed to live in our suburbs to be perfectly honest. I just assumed they stayed where they wanted to stay.
When I went to a private school we had black people in our class (only two at that time, in 1981) and again I never asked myself why they had not been in our government schools, presuming that as Afrikaners went to Afrikaans schools, so blacks must go to black schools.
This was the way life was.
I remember saying some of this on a forum I belonged to some years back and having a huge fight with a black woman who said there was no way I could ever have been unaware of what was going on in our country; but of course there was a way, we all grow up with our own version of reality and this was mine.
I never asked myself whether black people were badly treated, whether black people in other countries were allowed to own homes in white suburbs, walk, sit and holiday where white people did. Where you do not see a problem, you also do not envisage any solutions or raise any questions.
I am not weighed down with any guilt about all this today, either. I am in no way responsible for the choices and decisions of my government or my parents.
Colleen – It is as if you are echoing my own reality and sentiments. Growing up we have no concept that this was not “normal” so how can we feel guilty? I refuse to carry guilt on my shoulder like a sack.
As you say Colleen, this was your reality. I don’t see why you should apologise.
Good Charlie´s last blog ..To The Queen of the Cape…
I agree that we did not know any different growing up. But there is a point in your life where you start questioning the world around you. I did not know any better at age 8 but by age 15 i realised something wasn’t right.
I do not think you need to apologise or feel bad either. You were not making the rules, simply abiding by them. A lot of us knew no better.
I don’t want to rock the boat here but i don’t understand how people can say they didn’t know any better? At one stage you had to have realised that it was not right.
Personally i didn’t know any better when i was a child. But as soon as i was mature enough to understand the dynamics of human interactions i realised that other countries didn’t approve of what my government was doing nor did other countries behave the way our government did. Did nobody question this? I’m not trying to attack anyone here. I’m just trying to get a better understanding of where you are all coming from.
Can I be frank. I did not even think of politics or how other people lived when I was young. I matriculated in the early 80’s and all we worried about was our boys having to go and do their army training, we did not question why at all. You may consider this strange but it just did not resonate with us that it was wrong, it was just the way things were and that was that.
Look, to know that something was “wrong” means that people would have had something to reference their experiences by. If that reference was missing, then how could you really expect them to challenge the status quo? For example, people complain a lot about the crime in SA. Why? Because many countries don’t have as much crime. It’s as simple as that.
Good Charlie´s last blog ..To The Queen of the Cape…
Carla, I feel the same as Colleen. How could we know, with our print news, tv news etc subject to censorship. Who was going to tell us?
everyone must’ve lived really really sheltered lives in that case
I remember key events that made me realise that something was terribly wrong – like the number of times I saw black people being thrown into the back of those big yellow vans by the police.
Good Charlie, the reference was there the whole time – and it was black and white – different rules for different people in the same country is enough of a hint.
And there were times when it was shoved down our throats. At some point everyone old enough in the 70’s and 80’s must have known that the rest of the world didn’t quite approve of “something” we were doing.
So was it a matter of really not knowing, or of not wanting to know (or find out) because you knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant information?
That’s the same train of thought i had Alex.
I think the nation turned a blind-eye to it because it wasn’t pretty to come face to face with the reality of it.
I think it’s not about feeling guilty neccesarily – I think perhaps it’s about doing what you know is right.
I’m far too young to have had an active part in Apartheid yet I’ll still try and do things to make the changes happen. I didn’t know any different when I was very young but my parents (god bless them) told me what I needed to know as I grew up. I may not feel directly responsible for what happened but if there are things I can do that will help, I’ll do them.
I’m not talking about the major stuff (though I’d like to do that too), just the little things. Don’t stand for racism from your friends and family, try to quell the conditioned response to different races and try to kill all the little bits of petty apartheid as they appear.
I get that people didn’t know things were wrong – that’s the way people work, we just don’t see anything past our own narrow vision. But now that we see more, don’t we have a duty to see and do as much as we can?
Rob´s last blog ..Enough with the camera shake.
Colleen, I agree with you 100%.
Alex and Carla, I’m sorry guys, but it’s all well and good to say that there are fundamental wrongs in the world that we can not help but notice, but when you are living in that wrong, and have no frame of reference, then it is simply normality.
As older people who have seen that the world exists, our perspectives now are irrevocably different, and so of course we see the situation in a more holistic manner (although I’m sure not one of us fully Appreciates both sides of the story).
The fact is, as people growing up in it, and with nothing to compare it against, or no “intrinsic knowledge” of the outside world looking in, we couldn’t see it, and didn’t know that it was wrong.
Perhaps you had a broader perspective to the situation when you were young. For myself, I fall into Colleen’s camp – I notice it now looking back, but back then… not at all.
Zak Wood´s last blog ..Belated
why don’t you want to rock the boat? I am not sure I ever realised it was not right, Carla, to me, as I said, this was the way the world went, the way things were.
I do not know how old you are or when you grew up but I think the people born nearer to 1994 probably had more thrust down their throats in terms of ‘awareness’ (read guilt) than we ever did.
p.s. the first time I ever was aware that the world viewed us without much affection was when I was well into my twenties
I was busy living my life, having babies, dealing with issues, problem family issues, my own issues that nearly killed me, I was certainly NOT focussing on politics
I never saw any black people being thrown into vans either
Rob of course when I say I am not weighed down does not now mean I am not trying to be decent to people who were wronged. I treat everyone as decently as I know how, always have done.
@colleen
Yea i was born in the early 80’s so by the time i was growing up we did probably have more awareness than the people who were born earlier you are quite right.
Ja I was finishing school in the early to mid eighties Carla and by 1985 I was having my first child, very young, so I was hugely preoccupied with the minutiae of my own life as I said above.
Although I must say that I was a little more perturbed about the obvious questionmarks you refer to, I do agree that I feel no guilt.
that’s true, Metoo!
Hmmmmm, were you not aware of all the rioting, especially in 1976 (Sharpeville I think). Was that not reported in SA ?
Were you not aware of the AWB etc and all the stay-aways from work and school etc ?
I find it difficult to believe that anyone was totally sheltered from all of this.
However, as I lived there at the time, I am as guilty as anyone of just roolling over and going with the flow.
Although I ould treat most people the same, I didnt go out of my way to help the anti-apartheid movement when I was there.
I guess I just used the excuse that its the law and theres nothing one little person like me could do, I couldnt even vote ! But I know that was a cop out.
Do I feel guilty, I guess I do. But I was young and selfish, now I am older and a little less selfish, I dont know what I would do differently now either.
I also think peer pressure had a bit to do with it, where I felt that, possibily as a “visitor” to SA, that it wasnt my place to tell other whites to act differently and treat everyone the same.
Either way, despite all the problems in my own personal life, I could and should have treied to do something other than just treating everyone the same, when I met them.
In 1976, George, I was nine and had no idea that a word or concept such as politics existed. I had no idea the AWB existed.
We had no television at home, we were brought up cosseted, pretty Victorian really, pursuing the arts, reading, debating, classical music, theatre etc. You may find it as ‘difficult to believe’ as you like; of course by saying that you are directly saying I am lying which I bloody well resent intensely!!!
On New Years day 1984 , I was on duty at a rural police station.During the night a murder had occured.I found the corpse face down in a veld ,two witnesses on hand,and some 50 metres away ,I arrested the suspect.I was pleased with myself ,and contacted the local Murder and Robbery unit ,to assist me in the matter. At first the white warrant officer was all excited.He knew me quite well ,as I had been at school with his children.I then mentioned that it was a black on black murder , and was promptly told to call the local black CID member , and not bother him with cases like these. Like what I asked ?Blacks killing blacks ,with knives , I was told.This is how petty ( terrible ) things had been.Today we wonder why our government,(the one I dont support )are not really concerned about us whites. We grew our own timber !Another fact is ,most of us knew that this was happening -unless the majority of the whites alive then (adults) were braindead -witch in retrospect I think ,we were !
Sad thing is, now the shoe is on the other foot, and our collective white butt ,is hurting !
76 was just one example that came to mind.
So how did u manage to learn anything else about the world ? How did u manage to find out about Richard Gere et al ? Were they invited around to your house ?
I am merely saying that you may be remembering incorrecty, not lying.
Its very easy to forget things you dnt want to remember !
Its also difficult to remain cosseted when ur mixing with lots of different people at school etc too !!
@George
I saw R G’s movies. I am not remembering incorrectly and I DEEPLY resent your implication that I am. I thought very carefully and reported in my article EXACTLY how I felt then, George!!
if the cosseting is mental you will remain that way for life George
you lived a FAR different life to the one I lived so I really do not think you in a position to make pronouncements about mine.
@colleen
Hmmmm, as you so often remind us, you do contemplate things so very deeply, yet you never thought to question any of this in your younger years ?
This I do find hard to believe as I knew you back in your mid-teens.
I am sorry that this offends you, but I find it to be too much of a contradiction to how you insist you are.
@colleen
Does this mean you are still mentally cosseted now ?
I think what most people tend to forget is the extreme censorship we lived with. All newspapers, radio broadcasts, TV(when it arrived) and films were scrutinised and only the one’s deemed suitable were allowed through for general consumption.
If your souces of information are so strictly inhibited – how did you expect us to get unbiased information?
George – there were no other people “different” people at school. We didn’t even mix with the Afrikaans kids, much less anyone of a different colour, that all happened much later.
@AnnB
Well I found out about all these things once I moved to SA !!
I meant just other kids etc at school who would perhaps mention things from the wide world that they may have heard about.
Surely the whole economic sanctions at least reached some of you ? Or perhaps being hit in the pocket was the only time people sat up and took notice ?
@George
i was not interested in anything but my own life and that I analysed to death george. Politics and the country I cared nothing for (at that time) meant zilch
keep on saying I am lying. I’m loving it!
!!!!!!
@George
no, now I have no one to cosset me and having changed in my own outlook over the years, I am no longer mentally cossetted, no
Stop being such a drama queen.
I am not saying you are lying FFS.
@George
you knew me in my mid teens George, that is true. Tell me, did we discuss politics at all, to the best of your memory? Or the situation in South Africa at all?
Did we??
@George
OH BUT YOU ARE GEORGE!!! YOU ARE!!
I bow to your persistance, forget I mentioned a thing, I unreservedly retract every word I have uttered this very day.
You, as always, are right and totally correct, and even with facts I cannot ever hope to sway your concrete opinion in anyway !
where are the facts George? I am waiting for a report on when you and I discussed the country,
Where is your proof that we never then ? Where is my report then ?? You alway lay the burden of proof at others feet when you cannot substantiate your own initial claims !!
Since there is no concrete evedence that you always insist on, we cannot prove anything one way or the other !!
But as I said earlier, you are totally right and correct as always.
George you are the one saying that the way I reported my life while growing up, as I wrote it in this article, is a lie.
I am asking you to tell me when I voiced concern or made mention of the state of this country, or spoke about apartheid, or said I felt it unfair the way the non whites were treated. I can tell you we never had such a conversation ever.
I should think I can be trusted to be right about my own perceptions of my own country, in my own life. I must admit I am flabbergasted at your accusing me of lying. How would you know what I thought about the country, its policies or state, when we never spoke of it?
I never said it was a LIE !!!!!!!!
I also never said we ever had this conversation, you are making these things up.
I said I found it hard to believe you never considered there being anything wrong with the whole situation. You have taken this to the damn extreme, as usual, and are twisting every damn thing I say to your own gain.
If you dont like my opinion about how I percieved you, then fine, but dont turn this into some stupid arguement that is impossible for anyone to win, and I just get so pissed off with you persistance on something irrelevant to what I said !
So stop bloody saying I am calling you a liar ffs.
I also still do not beleive you were so insular not to know anything else about what was going on around you, whether you choose to remeber this or not.
Well if you do not believe I was so insular then obviously you ARE saying that my reporting it as such is NOT FACTUAL.
I never said I never knew what was going on anyway, if you read the article you will see I said I knew non whites went to diff school and stayed in diff areas and were not allowed on the beach but i never questioned it as i thought it was perfectly normal
anyway you are entitled to your opinion; thanks for coming to express it.
whatever.
I wont bother expressing it in the future, not worht the hassle
suit yourself
Gosh.
George and I often have very heated discussions Zak.
well hell that certainly livened the place up a bit.
Hi Colleen…
your article just jogged two memories for me….one was that even us Coloured families were taught that Blacks weren’t as clean as us, and that our ironing lady had to use different mugs and plates…
the other was when I mentioned to a white friend at Tech that the police were probably behind all the attacks..she looked at me like I’d grown another head! It was just totally incomprehensible! in her reality the police were the good guys who upheld law and order…
Do you really? I wouldn’t have thought.
If anything this discussion is showing how confused we all were, from all sides of the colour barriers. Some people clearly had different experiences throughout the years and that will obviously shape their outlook and their actions.
I apologise to anyone for insinuating that it was wrong to have not noticed.
But, maybe one thing that we can learn from this and that we generally have to look deeper into our society, even today – one thing that stuck with me was a comment saying something along the lines of “this is how our generation will be judged” when referring to AIDS and how many people are suffering as a result of it.
@Jem
that is very interesting, Jem; both points you made. Very interesting!!