Something To Swear By
The lead singer of a very famous German heavy metal band called Rammstein once said, “French may be the language of love, but German is the language of anger.” I know what he means. Some languages slide easier off the tongue when spoken under extreme strain.
Let me start off by setting the record straight. My exposure to Afrikaans was very short, yet extremely odd. The government, in all its wisdom, decided that teaching Afrikaans to black children was counter-productive or against the spirit of the National Democratic Revolution or something. They gave some oily reason, and just like that, I stopped learning die taal in Grade 7. But I remember very well the few years of exposure that I had.
There was Meneer Van Rooyen in Grade 4. Massive, slow and sunburnt, he would have made a formidable prop or hooker, if he wasn’t such a softy at heart. He had a particularly soft spot for Israel, and would give us free periods if someone piped up, “Meneer Van Rooyen, ek het lief vir Israel!” He cried like a baby whenever the Palestinians killed someone in Israel. He also had an awful habit of stalking through the class with a large ruler in his hands, yelling “die punt!” Yes, I learned all about the uses of the full stop in my Afrikaans lessons. Another favourite of his was “Hoof letters!” He left the school after an ugly incident involving a supporter of Yasser Arafat.
In Grade 5 and 6 it was Mevrou Ogterop. She was my own 9th circle of hell. I got more detention hours from her than from all my other teachers combined. I think it’s because I refused to take her seriously. She was short, old and very shaky. She never spoke normally. She was of the you-must-shout-for-the-children-to-understand-you disposition, which really didn’t endear her to her pupils at all. She taught us silly Boer march songs about Oom Paulus Kruger en die rooinekke. In a moment of sadism, someone appointed her to teach us art. Mevrou Ogterop knew as much about art as I do about the bedroom habits of the Archbishop of Canterbury. I spent the last hour of every Thursday painting big, fluffy clouds on paper plates and absolutely hated it.
My last Afrikaans teacher was a bucket of fun. She was pushing 50, still unmarried and had an amazing gold tooth that sparkled whenever she smiled. She would waft into the class every morning, smelling of chamomile tea and scented candles singing, “Is dit julle wat die wind, is dit julle wat die wind, is dit julle wat die wind laat waai?” To which we had to reply, “Ag, nee!” I have no idea what that song was in aid of. Someone recently pointed out to me that her song might have been a snide reference to breaking wind. Being the mad teens that we were, we quickly substituted that “ag, nee!” for a suitable expletive. Thank goodness no one ever told our teacher. My last Afrikaans teacher made me love talking in Afrikaans. Instead of doing stupid exercises in our books, she made us plant a vegetable garden so we could learn the names of all the veggies, tools and farming practices. We would also sit in a big circle on a lawn somewhere, and she would tell us the most amazing stories… in Afrikaans. Then the government put an end to all that.
Due to the fact that as friends we exclusively spoke either English or Zulu, die taal slowly faded from my memory. I can barely speak it now, let alone read or write it. But there are some things which are best done in Afrikaans. There is nothing like a well placed Afrikaans swear word to spice up your sentences. It lends you the air of quirkiness and eccentricity. Most importantly, it makes you sound so South African, and I absolutely love that about Afrikaans.
Agreed!
I think one thing we can all agree on is that being able to speak/read/swear in Afrikaans is something that sets us apart from the rest of the world and MAKES us so obviously South African.
There’s a common thread here… people seem to enjoy Afrikaans way, way more when they’re not doing it for school.
100%
Seems strange that the Nats didn’t want black kids learning Afrikaans though. Very odd.
That’s true… you’d think it would make people less likely to rebel if they had some form of common trait with the Nats. Perhaps they wanted to keep the language “pure”?
“In a moment of sadism, someone appointed her to teach us art. Mevrou Ogterop knew as much about art as I do about the bedroom habits of the Archbishop of Canterbury. I spent the last hour of every Thursday painting big, fluffy clouds on paper plates and absolutely hated it.”
You had me laughing out loud, Good Charlie!
I find this piece poignant in that you had no choice about whether to learn Afrikaans or not – I often wonder if governments realise the impact that they have on the future of everyday people when they make prohibitive rules like that…then again, the Nats were clearly NOT thinking about the future when they made most of their decisions. In fact, the Nats were clearly not thinking. Period.
It seems to be a reoccuring theme of swear words sounding better in Afrikaans. Bliks…! Yip you’re right it does sound better
Surely there must be more to Afrikaans than swearing?
theflipside´s last blog ..THE iPHONE AND OTHER REMARKABLE GADGETS
Of course there is
It’s just that swearing fits so easily and so well with the languages that have stuck closer to Germanic sounds. Just like German is great for swearing in.
You know, all this talk of people being forced to learn Afrikaans by the old government. And it’s true. But one must realize that an African language was a compulsory subject for us Afrikaners up to std. 7, right?
The problem? They changed the language ever so often, and we usually couldn’t come to grips before being introduced to new rules.
I don’t think you should be forced to learn any language. You should take your home language and the choice should be yours as to whether you wish to learn other languages.
@Chatsubo At my school it was Std 5, didn’t have to do any African language in high school. I would’ve liked to have been able to continue to learn Zulu instead of Afrikaans – didn’t have that choice.
@Carla Nunes
I think that a second language should be compulsory at school, any second language. In my opinion, offering languages like French and Spanish would be a good alternative. It’s been said, people probably pick up enough Afrikaans to get by anyway, offering something different and being allowed to use that as a second language provides a good grounding for a lot of jobs (especially French in South Africa for the Congolese car guards).
@theflipside
probably, but swearing is the most useful
@ Chatsubo – what language did they change? Afrikaans? I don’t remember that ever occurring while I did Afrikaans at school.
I did both English and Afrikaans as first language HG and I have to admit – Afrikaans was scary compared to English
@ Carla – I am a firm believer that you should learn as many languages as possible. I speak both English and Afrikaans fluently and I wish my isiXhosa was better. I also regret not having done French/German as a 3rd/4th language.
Being able to speak more than one language is something I will force my children to do. Most European countries force their students to do a second language and except for the French and English who don’t get along I don’t know of any German person who hates the Brits because they have to do English as a subject.
I generally view people who refuse to learn a second language as narrow-minded.
theflipside´s last blog ..THE iPHONE AND OTHER REMARKABLE GADGETS
I agree that other languages are important i don’t think they should be forced on you during school. You end up hating it and you don’t take it seriously so i don’t think the language ultimately sinks in. I’ve forgotten nearly all the north sotho i learnt. Zulu i can only remember some words and my Afrikaans is even worse.
Encouragement is far better than compulsory learning.
This is very good Charles. I agree about swearing in Afrikaans FOK maar dis lekker!
Your piece made me laugh as your stuff always does!
But you know that
@theflipside
of course there’s more to Afrikaans than swearing! I just wish the government had let me find out the rest…
Good Charlie´s last blog ..Karma will hear you!
I think that the difference between translation and transliteration first smacked me between the eyes when I started to speak and understand Afrikaans.
You can translate ‘lekker’ as ‘good’ but it means much better than than that.
An egg can be ‘bad’ but it takes on real meaning when you are told it is ‘vrot’.
And where else can I find a ‘poppie’ for a dance?
Sigh…
lol well said GrahamJ
@GrahamJ
I’ve come to learn to accept the fact that I will never ‘get’ Afrikaans. Pity.
Good Charlie´s last blog ..When We Were Young