Deurmekaar Taal
Afrikaans, that mainstay of “can like to” jokes, and also my home language. There’s a certain dichotomy in my mind about it: At it’s best, one of the most beautiful languages around. At it’s worst, the language of the oppressor.
The thing about writing this, is that in a perfect world, I’d address the language in isolation, as just a means of expression. But it’s almost impossible without invoking the association with the white nation in South Africa that call themselves “Afrikaners”. We’re made up of all kinds of european and (although few will admit) some eastern and african DNA, put into a melting pot, adding some kitchen dutch.
There’s little common ancestry, just a bunch of people that ended up banding together on the southern tip of Africa after leaving a boat or two.
I guess at that point, the only thing that truly binds the Afrikaner nation, as the name suggests, is the language. Most people feel like they want to belong, and I guess Afrikanerdom is as close as they’ll ever get.
It’s the language that my forebearers chose to shove down the throats of native people and other immigrants during school. I’m sure the other writers will testify to that. Let it just be noted that it’s not the most popular tongue around.
When thinking “Afrikaans”, one can’t help but envision crappy music made by crappy artists. A stiff-upper-lip puritanical culture punctuated by brandy and fistfights. Police beating protesters, and “volksliedjies” that have conveniently lifted music and loosely translated lyrics from europeans. Let us not forget everybody’s favourite K-word.
I guess that’s why the language seems like such a hodge-podge of connotations for me. Seldom original, and totally unique.
Leeching off of other cultures, then adding spice.
Even in the mouths of Afrikaans youth (and myself), the language is often interspersed with english, and seems to lose it’s boundaries and become nondistinct.
I think of the oft repeated joke: “Hey Piet, wat is die engels vir spanner?” (Hey Piet, what is the english for spanner?)
My forefathers would absolutely cringe at the thought. After all, it was the “rooinekke” that put their families into concentration camps and burnt down their farms.
Yet I cannot help but get all mushy when reading Afrikaans poetry, and marvel at the expressive power of the language. It seems so far removed from being forced to read the old Afrikaans standby “Kringe in ‘n bos” in a classroom. Can I think of another great afrikaans book? No. Seriously, I can’t. And it wasn’t all that good either. At best I can describe 99% of Afrikaans culture as a little “weak”.
I stood in Hatfield square two weeks ago to watch a series of Afrikaans rock bands perform. They’ve set out to re-write the rules about “Afrikaans”. I guess they feel shackled by a past they didn’t create. I know I do. But then what IS our identity to become?
I hope they succeed, in something, but the crowd made me uneasy. It was almost like warping back in time 15 years or so.
I hadn’t been to such a pale party in a while, for a moment I lost hope… but then maybe they all just feel as disconnected from the rest of the world as I do.
I guess this piece of writing says it all. It’s confused, it’s all over the place. Not even an Afrikaner can totally make sense of it all. At times it’s a language, it times a culture, at times a nation.
It doesn’t seem to have a place and yet does. It’s speakers ended up being on the receiving end, the pointy end (sometimes both) of a lot of crazy shit. Hopefully those artists will prevail and Afrikaans will become something else.
Maybe they’ll just confuse the matter even further.
Maybe it will always be seen as the language of the oppressor, and the internally repressed.
very well written very honest piece! your ambivalence about the language comes across perfectly!
I don’t think it will always be the language of the oppressor, afterall it was developed by the dutch and the slave work forces – so in fact it was once the language of the oppressed.
People need to think of Afrikaans as an ‘African’ language as much as Zulu or Xhosa is.
Interesting, yes.
Lets take a couple of steps back and zoom out globally.
“Afrikaners” leave South Africa to go work in UK or other mostly European countries in hope of finding that belonging.
German youth up to I think about 2006 was not proud to be German due to the connetations to Hitler etc. and only after 2006 the youth there started being proud to be German. Germany hosted some sport event (FIFA or the like) and the advertising wasn’t about Germany or being German. They focused on everything but the nationality etc. in an attempt to start afresh, and it seems to have worked.
In the UK, they became lawless. The kids dictate what happens and the police have no means to keep kids in line. A youTube vid showed a buss driver assault a kid for causing a stir and swearing at the driver. Now the commenting on that stated his wife and kid(s) are now without a father as he was arrested for what happened in that vid.
In America… who cares honestly…
The point I’m trying to make here is that South Africans (Red,Green and Blue) all want to belong. I know I want to belong, almost anywhere off the African continent. You are quite right in stating “At times it’s a language, it times a culture, at times a nation.” But I don’t want to belong here… I never chose to come live here, to get on a ship and move here… Though I’m here and trying to make the best of it. I’m not patriotic, not one bit. Never will be. I’ll never say “Us South Africans rock due to a good FIFA thing…” should it turn out to be a huge success… No I’ll rather let those involved take the credit and the blame.
But then, I talk a lot and do little anyway… Maybe I’m just uninformed…
@nanoPhobe
I’m interested as to why you want to belong OFF the continent, you say you had no choice in being in South Africa but then where would you belong.
I’ve lived out of the country for a year before this, and my current stint is over two years and I still only feel “belonging” in South Africa. I have found South African friends here in America and immediately feel a kinship when I meet a new “expat”
Alex Papadopulos´s last blog ..Old Takkies
@ Alex
I’d be happy to be in space… away from people… Especially those I despise… Hate is more appropriate, yet not strong enough.
Maybe the “belonging” people crave is not “belonging” at all, rather a fresh start / clean slate.
As long as I’m in africa or talking about africa to european friends I’m negative, and hateful.
For some reason people not in africa, loves it… some in africa loves it… I don’t get that… I hate it. And people not living here always want to ask about Africa, which makes me negative as stated just to talk about it.
But when I go over to the Isle Of Man etc. I’m blissful, cheerful and inspired. Until I make a call to the office or nearing the end of my trip.
I hate AFRICA!
Not trying to convince anyone why its good / bad… I’m just stating my opinion.
Chappy chewing noises for one will drive me to murder and you have plenty of UK residents chewing chappies, though somehow, there I can deal with it…
Chatsubo, that is THE best piece I have read on Old Takkies so far…its very well written and exactly what I wanted to say in mine, but I just couldn’t find the words. You just hit every bit on the head – the disparity between the beauty of the langauge and its role in the oppression of millions of people.
I am saving this article to my laptop so I can read it again and again.
Brilliant.
@nanoPhobe
ok…who do you hate and why?
I think that by being out of the country, most people realise what they actually had in SA – and yes it is easier to love from a difference, but hate is also an extreme feeling
Alex´s last blog ..Old Takkies
Wow, all I can say is thanks.
“I hate AFRICA!
Not trying to convince anyone why its good / bad… I’m just stating my opinion.”
While i respect your statement you have not given much insight into your reasoning.
@nanoPhobe
There is clearly a LOT of anger in you about things you’ve experienced in Africa.
For a long time, I too hated Africa. I used to boil over with anger at the thought of the place. But then, I thought I had real reason to: my brother was brutally murdered in Zambia in 2004; my family and I were the direct victims of various kinds of crime in South Africa over the years; I always felt that as a white female, I didn’t fit in – the new South African society felt so patriarchal – women were largely suppressed and I wasn’t sure that I could ever feel comfortable with that; corruption was on the increase and I felt powerless to stop it.
Heck, my list of reasons was as long as my arm. BUT, when I went to live in Norway, I started to read about Africa – the Congo, South Africa, Botswana, etc. And slowly but surely I started to understand that the African culture (and I’m talking about the whole continent)is unique unto itself and its OKAY if you feel that you don’t fit into that.
I am the Original Goodie Two Shoes (nauseating, I tell you): I like things to work according to rules; I like everyone to get along; I am an idealistic promoter of world peace. So someone like me finds it very, very difficult to operate in societies where corruption is the order of the day, where the only rule is There Are No Rules and where things like racism and sexism are rife. All of that contributed to my anger towards Africa.
However, when I forced myself to read about Africa with an unbiased view point, I realised that my perception of Africa was based solely on MY version of reality. There are OTHER versions of reality too, which I had never accounted for. Africa works the way it does because it has to. There is a combination of factors that has led the continent to thrive in the way it does. Some people (my late brother was one) LOVE that about Africa and thrive alongside it. Other people (me), don’t.
My point to you is that you need to try to let go of that anger. Its okay to feel better about life in a different country. Really. And letting go of the hate will affect more people than you know.
Wow thank you for sharing your story Michelle. My condolences to you and your family having to go through such a devastating situation that is all too common in South Africa and indeed the continent itself. You’ve hit the nail on the head with your wise words.
You are right! Africa is the way it is because that’s how it functions on a day to day basis (it doesn’t really have a choice in the matter – as much as we don’t want to believe that). I too have ideallistic views about everything getting along and living happily ever after where nobody gets hurt and wrongs are righted with an apology and an open hand. Where everyone strives to do better, be better, live better. Sometimes though…you do catch glimmers of humanity in deepest darkest Africa. Example: I saw an Indian woman stranded on the side of the road and almost immediately a black gentleman in a flashy BMW pulled over and got out to help her. The joy of a man coming to her rescue was written all over her face and i felt a sense of good will. I too often complain about SA but in that moment i felt i had nothing to complain about – even the JHB traffic. There’s a lot of good in SA, you just have to be willing to see it.
Michelle, you make some good points – Africa does work differently to the rest of the world, there’s no denying that and you really have to fit in or be eaten
I believe in a lot of very real ways that Africa is both years ahead and far behind the rest of the world. Think sixty or so years. Give us sixty years and we’ll be just as “civilized” and just as jaded. That’s the thing that’s nice around here – like Alex said, he found friends in expats. South Africans can be among the nicest, warmest people on earth just as we can be the most messed up.
As far as Afrikaans being mixed up… totally. But in a terrible and excellent way.
Ok here goes…
Expats are happy for a reason, almost all Africans want a better place, thus are happier in places better / less constictive that Africa.
I look at Africa and see nothing worth liking…
I look at south Africa and its Government “employees” corrupt to the bone, and messing up things… African beet root / patato cures aids being the most famous. Yes she is now without a job, but due to BEE and that sh!t, a lot of government positions even companies have felt that kak idea bite them… Then unions, that stand behind toy toy-ing employees… Then there is the crime… Omg there is no end and no cure due to “mense regte”… GTFO, if you step into my home without an invite you should be shot, because I don’t want you there… If you rape, you should be raped by a polar bear or the like, see how you like it… Then at a deeper core where whites don’t go (for a reason) you have Shangoma’s telling people a lot of crap and they believe it, leaving the obvious lacking of COMMON SENSE which is NOT evident in africa.
Most Africans have a mentality of “you owe me” or “the world owes me”.
In parking lots they want money for showing you a parking… WTF I saw it when I came in a the gate, yes that one that looks so small from here…
Then they want money for “watching your car…” though NEVER heard a car guard testify to a scratch or judge about crimes that happen around them to your car they watched or robbed shops… no trace can be found…
Mall robbers get away because we may not do anything… Shoot the F@#$ then if he lives ask him his name, so you can put it on a tombstone… nah… leave it an unmarket grave…
Criminals voting… OMFG… They were removed from society because they don’t follow law… Thus should have NO say in what happens in society… But no, rather allow them to sue you if the hurt themselves in YOUR HOUSE! because he didn’t see the coffee table, tripped over it and broke an ankle or the like.
The law in this country allows criminals almost the same rights us us who suffer to obey the law… Drugs… CAN’T be controlled, and destroyes less lives than rapists, robbers and murderers… but you hear of plenty drug busts, but little about actual rapists, murderes and other violent criminals.
Because they have NO clue where to look for them, or how to work with forensic investigations… Closest I got to ever have forensics come take finger prints on my violated golf mk1 they told me 3 days… The only people worth anything are over worked to cover those “solar pannel” people who sleep in meetings, deliver nothing, adds “value” only to the smell…
Then there is the times you need a cop, and call a cop, I’ve been told there are no vehicles available… but then on the highway or back roads you see them parked, sitting there… Or used as transport for the previously disadvantaged… its been 15 years… STFU and work u lazy chappy chewing stupid F@$#.
If there was a handle on crime, they were still sitting doing nothing, cause a handle means you know exactly what is happening and how to prevent it, thus… they stive for a handle on the “wrong” stuff to try and fix it, but so far all i see and hear is failure…
Now and then you get a cop, that actually loves his job, does it well, and he gets shot because the one that was supposed to cover him or circle around back started doing his job with “Er. Er. Er. Wek is tough today” and the worse it the indifference I noticed in the youth, every color and has no portrayal of only one race. Its the mentality that irks me.
I don’t care for religion, political views, upbringing or excuses. Too many have been lax in discipline and telling people to their faces when they made a mess, its rather excused with a generic comment to a group; “something was done wrong, you shouldn’t do it again.” thus no one know what failed, where it failed and why it failed because it was not PC to say… Thus next time be sure the same mistake is made. And you mister soldier, who works hard to keep your job, are responsible to fix sh!t. a mess made by a fellow worker, but you MAY NOT tell him…
Then the African mentality yet again with cheap labour, most of us work for a fraction of the earnings that would be paid in a 1st world… BUT we will never get out of it, because every F!#@ing interview is to attain your skills, yet promises of “oppertunity” rather than a decent salary. All kinds of excuses to pay the minimum. If you are happy with that, or have passed that bar and you are happy with your earnings, then I can see why you love this Sh!thole that people are forced to call home because no other country wants us… and we don’t belong here either…
Yet again back onto we don’t belong here…
We can’t leave cause of some regulation(s) passed…
Thus making it harder to find a place to belong…
Thus putting me in a unhappy place against my will, WTF about my constitutional right to want something better than this place offers?
I am vague on what / who I hate yes… So are you about what you like… The people are nice? WTF a cup of tea is nice… Thats not even a reason… You have nice people in any country include Eastern Block… I know a couple that was born there… They are nicer now, cause they could get to a place that to their standars were better than where they grew up…
Whoa.
Can. Worms. Cats and bags.
Well, we did ask
Thanks for the input nano – it’s interesting reading. Will get back to you about it.
Thanks Nano, I too will have to get back to you…
I have a question in the meantime though, have you lived abroad?
I have spent close to 2 years on and off (traveling about every 2 weeks).
I’m not saying there is not issues in other coutries, every country has problems. You have to find the place who’s problems you can deal with.
I don’t want to deal with Africa.
Yes because in actual fact all the problems you listed are the same problems other countries experience on a daily basis. You are tainted by the perception the west has of Africa.
Is Sa perfect? Of course not … but name one country that is? I am not for one minute saying i live in Pleasantville but i am proud to call SA my home. Even if Manto thinks you can cure AIDS by eating beetroot and potatoe. I don’t allow the ignorance of a few to taint my perception of a collective. Each to their own. I will always remain optimistic that the problems we face shall be overcome one step at a time. Nothing is easy and Rome was not built in a day. I don’t fall into the trap of believing that the grass is always greener on the other side. I have family in Europe and i know they would move back hear in a heartbeat if they could afford to. It’s not always as straight forward as you portrayed it.
hear – here
Crap! I hate typos.
@ Carla
Closest to perfect I ever came was Isle Of Man.
Here’s why:
1: They have around 400 unemployed people (according the people I have met and spoken to) of which about 300 are pregnant.
2: The crime section consists of:
a. Stones were thrown through patio window, witnesses wanted. Nothing stonlen, no one hurt.
b. Woman (name and address in newspaper) arrested for being drunk and disorderly, sentence house arrest from 7pm to 7am (so if you are her neighbor you can report her for being outside after 7pm or before 7am).
c. 20quid (thats 20 pounds) stolen out of a running motor in a parking lot. (the owner left the car idling while going into the shop to buy stuff, leaving her Handback, phone, ipod and purse in the car. Note not all her money was taken, only 20 quid).
d. the list goes on… One bookstore owner doesn’t even know what a serial killer is… Violence is not as prominent.
3: Violent deaths are so few and far between they have a book on the last 150 years of it… http://www.rbooks.co.uk/product.aspx?id=1840186925
Other countries still have headline news when a murder has been commited.
In sunny South Africa we don’t even mention all the murders anymore. Because it doesn’t sell newspapers anymore…
The point is, if you are happy in SA, good for you.
Don’t be surprised that not everyone loves this place as much as others.
Sounds like a wonderful place.!
While i understand your grievances to compare an isle to a country isn’t realistic. Compare Isle of Man to Great Britain and you are still left with the same issues. Granted, Great Britain does not have the amount of crime and brutality we do but, Great Britain has been a democracy for a lot longer than SA has. We also have a substantial amount of our society in severe poverty with what they feel is no other alternative but to turn to crime. Until the ANC get down to the nitty gritty details and fix poverty, crime will breed more contempt. SA is still a toddler and we are still learning to walk. Great Britain is already a geriatric.
Not to mention compared to the rest of Africa we are ‘first world’. We can only grow stronger and while you are right in saying that there are government officials with the IQ of 21, they will eventually be weeded out just like Manto was. You forget, Bush Jnr isn’t far from the apple tree himself as he ran America into the ground.
@ Carla and Nano
Carla, I think you just hit the nail on the head: those of us who are angry with Africa, and South Africa in particular, have a tendency to compare SA to first world countries who have had an established democracy for a very long time. We look at the “adult” countries and wonder why we’re not the same.
South Africa’s current situation is unique and it has to be dealt with accordingly.
Nano, I hear you on almost everything you said in your piece: the situation makes my blood boil too. I got the opportunity to move abroad and did so. I’m still here and being away from the source of my anger allowed me to look at it objectively and understand the reasoning behind it.
Is living abroad, for a short or long time, a possibility for you? Nelson Mandela said “to truly appreciate one’s country, one needs to view it from the outside” (or words to that effect – don’t quote me). I believe he’s right. When I was in SA, I was blinded by my own anger. Stepping out for a while (and I’m currently still out), proved to be very therapeutic and allowed me to let go of the anxiety that used to grip me. I am no longer suffocated by rage.
The intensity of your anger suggests that you are incredibly hurt at the way in which you feel South Africa has let you down. The fact that you are writing on this blog suggests that you want to do something about it. No-one should have to live with that level of pain. I wold encourage you to try life outside of SA in an attempt to regain objectivity and perhaps find some peace.
Thanks Michelle, that is an interesting view. It would seem to me the expats are telling the resident that SA ain’t that bad, when they themselves have left the country, probably with a reason or two that Nano mentioned in the back of their heads.
But your post explains it better.
I can’t imagine not living here. If crime gets worse I may move, but it would be incredibly difficult for me. I love this place. Maybe I’m wearing rose-tinted glasses because no-one really close to me has suffered from a violent crime. We all suffer under crime occasionally, but is truly violent crime that prevalent? I know people who’ve been hijacked, mugged, and so forth. But they all still live. When something really horrible happens it still makes the newspapers, I see it plastered on poles as I drive in to work occasionally. And that makes me at ease. I know it happens, but I know it’s still rare enough that people make a fuss.
I’m still curious why so many love this country…
An Isle or not, its a better place.
And the best part is, that in London on the subways, you get pick pocketed meaning your life is not in danger… In SA people are raped / murdered for nothing. That girl in 4ways somewhere running away capped in the back of the head… WTF! The owner of Irish Corner pub on Witkoppen was shot by patrons and they left… Took nothing. Farmers were murdered (and probably still are) by the dozens and are not allowed do defend themselves…
Then there was the murders in / on Sandton drive, hand full of road users shot, cars not taken…
Then in Irene the CEO or somthing of coin shot because he didn’t want to surrender his car to F!@#s who robbed Irene stores…
Regardless how you look at it, “growing” or not, this is a violent place. And I don’t see it changing soon. even with a full police force of competent people, the hate in this country is deeper than apartheid, democracy or xhenophobia… Its a fundamental difference in cultures, and by naming our behaviour in line with our SA cultures (rapes, murders) or as a result of one thing makes a mockery of the “growth” or the attempt to rectify past mistakes.
There is a gerenal joke, and I’ve heard this from outlanders that visit this place; “The difference between a racist and non-racist is about 5minutes.” Fundamentally every south african regardless of color is a racist, that is the legacy we have. Even the “purist” of rainbow nation supported has cursed / objected to the oposite race. That makes it a genocide race to the finish line, though the rules are set by governing parties and international constitutions thus reducing us to a cloak and dagger game that includes the degradation of the other for ones own survival and with conventions in the workplace like BEE and the like, we are for sure not making progress, but rather indulge the governing force to “MAKE US EQUAL!” which we are not. No man is created equal, only the grave makes us so.
Now here comes a deciding factor: I am a father… so are many other. Do you really want to raise your kid in a place like this? where the manucipality playgrounds have become the homes of some and is dreaded to be entered due to the lurking shadows.
As a father, I do not want my kids to grow up in a place where a life has been reduced to a currency for the poor.
It is indeed a very different way of life. Some people can live with it and others can’t. The choice lies with one’s self.
You are right regarding how different the cultures are. We are still learning to live next to one another after having lived so far apart that we don’t see the other one as truely African. Some people are prepared to wait for the country to get better and others aren’t. I’m of the opinion that i will not give up on my country just yet. I will await a defining moment and if that moment ever comes i will make the hardest choice i’ve ever had to make in my life. Leaving the only country i’ve ever known. For now, i deal with my every day life the best i can and while i get irritated with the silly antics that go on here, it’s my home and it’s the only home i know.
@Carla Nunes
The problem is as follows… You can’t leave the country without a VISA and should you wait for a defining moment, that moment will most likely be your last. Aquiring a VISA is not an easy task, ask those who tried in the past, and new legislations makes it even harder.
If you left the country already, I’m baffled as to why you would be interested enough to “follow” it from afar, you know as well as I do, that WILL change your perspective (lawn is greener on the other side syndrome). You can’t say things will get better if no one is allowed to do anything about it… And those supposed to do it, are in over their heads…
It is as if this place has been destined to be lawless. Which will place us in much the same SHITuation as the rest of africa. As things stand now in Africa, I’m not convinced anyone can salvage anything from it. Those who make money here (I mean a lot of money) is tainted by corruption / exploiting the shituation for profit (which incidentally is a VERY profitable business if you know what you are doing).
By exploiting I mean the following of which 99% of those not considered poor are exploiting:
A domestic worker, WILL 99% of the time only be paid minimum wage. Thus never getting out of their poverty. We abuse this on cleaners, gardeners, petrol attendants, car washers, tea ladies, builders or any hard labour.
This leads to the compounding unhappy state of millions in africa, thus consequentially Africans want to go to places where these exploits are not the norm. Or where minimum wage is a lot more than here. Zimbabweans will love it here as we pay more than they do… but if you are here and this is your norm, then somewhere else will be more appealinh.
Thus self evolution not on a biolpogical level but rather a desire to better yourself / situation. It is one thing to stand on the outside commenting in, but as a hardened soldier will tell a non combat experience person: “you have nothing to say, don’t try and be all fluffy if you are not in the trenches with shit flying all over and your men are in need but you can do nothing to save them” A mere metaphor, but an effective one. I’m not going to comment on wrong doings in war if i’m not there and have the situational awareness. Easy to do from the outside…
@Michelle you have experienced the trauma of SA. Sad for your loss. I am still baffled as to why africa would ever be considered home after your experience. How do you forgive such wrongs? If you do, does it really make it all right? How many more will and have suffered the same? This country appears to be eating itself, and my opinion is to let it do so, without me and those who don’t want to be eaten.
All the sadness in the world won’t help or change this place.
All the money in the world either, it will be spent on arb. foreign visits and shopping sprees, luxury homes etc.
All the violence in the world won’t change this place either, will just make it worse…
That leaves us with little to NO solution, only attempts to tame the madness.
You stop the mall robbers, another alternative to robbing will rise like targeting motorists on the very slow hiways, where most people have laptops, cell phones and wallets / handbags and you are an easy target… Scary huh?
I have this odd feeling vigalantism is not far off, as per movies like Boondock Saints…
And then what? they will be considered the “new” enemy? Every person feels righteous about their opinions, remove that and have indifference of good men doing nothing about anything. Thus a new hole is dug.
How do you fix a world that is destined to destroy itself? Without infringing on constitutional rights? There is no cure, thus the cancer will spread and SA will become the next UK where kids dictate as per comment way up top. Because we stive to become what the 1st worlds are, though little to no attention is paid to the lack of discipline, the mistakes they make, we are bound to make because “we” want to be them so badly.
So what does a person do nanophobe? You say you hate this place and you don’t want to be here so what is your plan of action? Have you applied for a VISA? I don’t begrudge people who have decided it is best for them to leave. That is their choice. But i am irritated by the countless of South Africans who are quite happy to sit back and bitch, critisize and insult the government and the country whenever they can all the while doing nothing. I’m a person who believes in being proactive and feel if only more people cared enough to get up off their arses and get involved we wouldn’t be in the state that we are in. One man might not be able to change the world but is he wrong for trying?
I am elligible for a British passport so perhaps it’s easier for me to get out when the shit hits the fan, i don’t feel it has yet.
@Chatsubo and @Nano
Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not painting an idealistic portrait of SA simply because I’m not there. I know that a lot of what Nano says goes on and a lot of people there suffer daily. I think its more that I have long since stopped trying to make sense of the world and that is what has allowed me to sleep at night.
In my experience, life is a complete paradox: everything matters and nothing matters. My brother’s death shattered my family in September 2004. In December 2004 150, 000 people were wiped out in that infamous Tsunami. That was a slap in the face of sorts for me – I became aware in my grief that SO MANY people around the world were suffering as much, if not more, than I was.
I think it was around that time that I began to realise that there was an inevitable truth in this world: SHIT HAPPENS. How you choose to deal with that is what ultimately defines your quality of life. And the important thing to remember is that you are only responsible for YOU. Even heros like Madiba can’t fix everyone. Personal accountability is key.
In light of that, I knew that I had to get away from Africa in order to heal. And I believe I have. I don’t think of it in terms of forgiveness or the “greener grass” syndrome. I think of it in terms of allowing the good I can give to this world to flow. While I was immersed in fury, there was simply no good rising to the surface. I think that’s why I kind of empathise with the anger in Nano – I recognise it.
However, if we accept that bad things will happen regardless, we can focus more on consciously spreading the good stuff, the most important of which (in my mind) is tolerance.
Just think how different SA would be if we were able to at least tolerate each other. Agree to disagree with differen cultures and not persecute anyone for their beliefs.
If we got that right, and began to act as a nation, we might actually be able to tackle crime, poverty, corruption, etc. But as long as its “each man for himself”, we’re doomed.
Is anyone with me?
@Carla Nunes
And Carla, I agree with you – a proactive approach is by far the best one. No-one is going to change your world except you.
I’m with you Michelle! Wow, you said it brilliantly! You just epitomized what is to be a true South African and even more so what it is to be human. Bravo!
You guys better be careful. Pretty soon you’re going to have no material left. :p
@Michelle
I hear you Michelle.
I have not been a victim as you have, yet I see it in others and it hurts.
@Carla Nunes
I have worked of this continent, and loved it, as per way up top.
I have a family, which is going to cost me a lot to relocate and VISA’s all in all.
I am in process to right a couple of my wrongs, and saving for that ticket and VISA out. It is a time consuming process, and hoping the wife will get her Netherlands passport soon. Awaiting for them to update the current legislation preventing her from getting it. They have been in the process for just over a year now. Hoping the good will come out soon…
I have said my say, and am starting to reiterate and refine previous statements. Which is beginning to sound like a debate to convice people why I want to leave is the right one… Which is not the case, I’m more curious to hear WHY it is a good place, maybe convincing me that it is worth staying… I have not hear that yet.
Sitting on my ass… I am, after many failed attempt to do good, the right thing, being burned for paying a maid a lot more than minimum wage she started doing less, burned my shirts and took food home… For buying food for the beggar at the traffic light by McD’s in Centurion and being told “WTF am I supposed to do with that?”. For giving a back full of my families unwanted clothes to a janitor at the flats we live in and not even a “thank you” a “fuck you” would have sufficed. For driving according to the law, and having been wiped out almost many times by those that don’t follow the law (taxi’s are actually more considerate towards bikers than motorists even though they drive like hooligans). Parking your car in a parking lot and having it violated by the idiot who does not care for his car, and scratching yours, scraping it with a trolley… The car guards are not around when that happen and usually don’t come over asking for money either when such occurances has happened. Helping a woman that was being abused and threatened by her fiance with a gun (he’s a cop) and that at a rediculous time in the morning, she banged oon the window begging to be let in before he sees her, and sneaking her out of the complex to safety with family that came to fetch her, and no thank you nothing and 3 days later she’s back and bruised… again.
For donating stuff to a orphanage and offering assistance when needed, and then supplying female needed things to the caretaker as she can’t afford them, then many days later being asked for money, and when refused with a “tell me what u need, i’ll go buy it” she started swearing at me and put the phone down…
NO! FUCK AFRICA! The entire continent… I had enough, and have not even seen the worse myself…
Some very interesting comments going on here
Very cool.
Nano, I feel your frustration but I think quite a number of those are problems that could quite easily be seen in other countries. One question that I’d be asking myself is “Why am I doing these things?”. For me it would be enough that someone got helped, not that they thanked me. Their thanking doesn’t enrich my life in any way.
As far as helping people who go out and get themselves hurt again goes… that’s sometimes the way it is. You can only ever help people as much as they’re willing to help themselves.
That’s a separate issue though – you asked why it’s good to be in South Africa. I really do love a lot of things about SA. I’m certainly not opposed to moving elsewhere so I’ll investigate that one day.
Things about SA that rock (for me):
The Climate
Table Mountain
Cape Town in general
The tiny little towns all over the place
Knysna
Boerewors
Biltong
Mrs. Balls
The people (majority I’ve met are pretty cool)
Not least of all… the potential. SA has a wonderful potential that I’m not certain we’ll totally screw up. There’s a good chance we’ll pull through.
Quite honestly – I can actually see those things happening in most other countries (except maybe for the domestic worker).
You need to let go of your negativaty which seems to be focussed on only seeing the bad in South Africa. Bad things happen, but so do good things. Not All South African people are bad. The abuse of women and children is not something own to this country. Nor is scratched cars, ungrateful beggars and lawless drivers.
You choose to see everything as black. You are missing the shades of gray.
@Rob
and
@Diva
Hehe, perfect timing. I know its everywhere, and I am admittingly a negative person by nature. Lets just say, I’m playing for both sides (Devil’s Advocate) as someone has to feel strongly about the other side as well.
Pessimist: An experienced Optimist…
Myself have NEVER been to CAPE _anything_ (North, East, South or West).
Not sure it will be that much different to the GP.
I think we have established the bad, and mybe there is more… But the above was more out of the frustaration than the actual discusison.
Thank does not enrich my life, true, but without it, many things feel in vain…
Thus chances of doing so again is further appart.
I concur with Biltong and Boerewors only (available off continent, not the same but available)
I’d have to add braai to the list. But only with my closest friends, don’t like too many strangers, as there is usually a Brandy “Kaksoeker” in the unknown crowds.
Thats about it…
But good idea to swing the convo to the lighter side, as I don’t need more negativity myself as can be derived from the statements made.
@nanoPhobe
You’ve never been to the Cape???
Well, THATS the problem!
Quick, book a trip to Knysna or Cape Town! You don’t know what you’re missing man!
Even the Most Experienced Optimist (;)) can’t fail to like the Cape…
Plans to visit the Cape is in the pipeline for closer to the end of the year / early next year.
Hope I didn’t offend too many people with my strong “views”.
Views are fine as long as they’re backed up
It’s the:
“South Africa sucks!”
“Why?”
“It just sucks!”
That’s annoying
But seriously – go to the Cape. Eastern cape is beautiful in a lot of places but there’s a lot of abject poverty to be seen. Gives a good idea of how well we live I guess.
If you could possibly manage it, take a road trip from PE to Cape Town along the Garden route. Absolutely amazing. Just terrific.
Rob´s last blog ..Twitter Updates for 2009-08-18
@Rob
I think I’ve said enough about why I don’t like this place, even if you disregard the comment
I think there is enough reasons mentioned not to like it here. Although what might be a reason not to like it here for me, might not be for you or anyone else.
I have posted the most here, on my backup of my view.
I think its important that views differ, as long as its not violent.
I’m all in it for the argument, and I’m still not sure Biltong and the like is reason enough to like a place… Many places has good food…
But I’m open for new ideas and have noted to visit the Cape.
that’s impossible, we’re built South African tough
@Alex Papadopulos
haha… some may differ, if you knew me better…
Nobody is offended nanoPhobe and i hope you are not insulted by my comments either. For me SA is not perfect but i love it just the same. It’s kind of like an unruly teenager that irritates the shit out of you but you can’t help but love.
Things that make SA great for me are:
The amount of wide open space we have here. Our houses are spacious not shoeboxes.
Cape Town is just beautiful and you really must make sure you visit there before you embark on your journey.
Braais outside in the great South African sun and then settling down to watch a good game of Rugby. GO BOKKE!
The people! We have such a rich diverse culture. I love the fact that i can walk into a shop and attempt a conversation in Zulu only to be laughed at for messing up the words.
Cheap booze and cigarettes. Hell it’s great!
South African women. They’re hot man! p.s I’m not lesbian
The wildlife is just amazing!
South Africa is one of only 12 countries where tap water is safe to drink. Its tap water is rated the third best worldwide. Not to shabby hey Nig!
Fanta! Fanta tastes crap in other countries.
Kimberley’s ‘Big Hole’
Seal Island and the gorgeous Great Whites
Okay that’s enough for now…
@Carla Nunes
Yip, having lived outside of the country for just over a year, and in the interests of telling Nanophobe what I really do like about SA I can tell you the following:
Carla’s spot-on:
LIVING SPACE…you don’t get much of it in Scandinavia or Britain;
THE BUSH…the sound of crickets chirping in the quiet bush. I miss that.
THE SUN…maintains a notoriously low profile in Norway and England!
CHEAP COST OF LIVING…try paying the equivalent of R112.00 for ONE PINT in Norway!
Just a few reasons to make those of you living in SA smile. Enjoy it chaps!
Cost of living is a big one. In the US I’m spending 5x the amount I used to in South Africa, 4x the amount on health insurance and 2x the amount on car insurance (I worked this out according to the percent of those costs against my salary)
Crime is lower, but exists.
And I have to live with Americans
Alex wins!
I thought the topic was AFRIKAANS??
The topic is Afrikaans. However, it sparked off a debate about immigration which appears to be a topic close to people’s hearts.
Which there will be a lot more of